Some Things I Have Learned

What we learn in the caregiving role is invaluable. We grow. We give love in new ways. We protect and defend. We don't let "the system" stop us as we provide for a loved one's needs. We rely on God.

In a Caregiver.com article, John Patterson expresses these positives better than I ever could. Here is his article, Some Things I Have Learned.

A Nice Touch by Cyndie Goins Hoelscher

To pass along helpful hints, I frequently post links to Caregiver.com posts and Today's Caregiver articles. Today I would like to share with you one of their posts that is simply beautiful. Beautiful language, creative presentation of grief's hues, and powerfully encouraging.

Here is the article, "A Nice Touch," by Cyndie Goins Hoelscher.

To Panic ... Or Not?

Panic might not be the right word. Perhaps strong worry is better. When the issue is your parent’s potentially life-threatening condition, your chest squeezes out your breath and your stomach knots into a rock. I suppose it’s a combination of dread, helplessness, and hope. It took my 99-year-old mother’s nursing home three weeks to diagnose her cough as pneumonia. I was so scared, panicked even, that this time, pneumonia might do her in. But I have to say that my mother seems stronger now, so I needn’t have worried. After they finally did diagnose it, these conversations occurred:

Me: I’m concerned about my mother’s cough.

Mom’s nurse: She’s not coughing.

Me: She just had a coughing jag that rocked her whole body.

Nurse: When the aide wheels her by the nurse’s station to go to lunch, I listen and your mom is not coughing.

Me: Would you please come to her room to listen now?

Me: I have read that pneumonia is contagious; is my mother’s?

Mom’s nurse: No, but wash your hands a lot.

My conclusion: Caution is advised. Thank God for diagnosis and proper medication, but know that the nurse probably has so many residents to look after, her attention to my mother will be scattershot. Follow my gut sense on when to clue her. And yeah, wash my hands a lot. No need to panic. As the British World War II mantra goes: Keep calm and carry on.

Roller Coaster of Caregiving

Jane Cassily Knapp, R.N., LCSWC, offers advice for the caregiver based on her insights into the emotions of caregiving and family dynamics. From my vantage point, I heartily concur with her wise counsel. And I'm so glad to see emotional aspects addressed. Everyone involved has emotions about the situation, practical decisions, major life changes, losses, and the primary decision maker.

I encourage you to read Knapp's article,"The Roller Coaster of Caregiving," in Caregiver.com here.

Kimberly Williams-Paisley's story and caregiver tips

I enjoyed reading Kimberly Williams-Paisley's story of the decisions her family made when her mother was diagnosed with a degenerative brain condition caused by Alzheimer's. Williams-Paisley's 2016 book, Where the Light Gets In, is more comprehensive. What I read was Amy Spencer's "A Mother's Memories" article in Parade magazine. You can read it here.

In the Parade article, Williams-Paisley adds a few tips for caregivers: Talk about it. Expect guilt. Stand your ground. Write down your wishes. She expands on each in the article.

Better Health While Aging

I'm excited to share a wonderful resource, a new website by geriatrician Leslie Kernisan, M.D., M.P.H. It is Better Health While Aging, at betterhealthwhileaging.net.

The site gives tools and practical info on topics many caregivers will encounter at one time or another. I encourage you to check it out.

Who Am I? Scrapbook

What a great idea presented in this week's Caregiver.com e-newsletter. Whether the care-ee has or doesn't have dementia, talking about the past can be a warm and bridge-building activity. And if the caregiver is new to the care-ee, having a Who Am I? scrapbook would be helpful. Even family caregivers might benefit from a few reminders about Dad's war years, Mom's pet charities from her volunteer positions, favorite sports teams, any awards they received, and so forth. Get ideas for what to include in Lynn Lancaster Gorge's article here. A Who Am I? scrapbook is a fun conversation starter.