Tips for caregivers of people with Alzheimer's

Great tips here for caregivers during National Family Caregivers Month and National Alzheimer's Disease Awareness Month:

This article from The Daily Herald was written by the Alzheimer's Association.

All the tips are helpful, but my favorite is "Make a standing appointment to give the caregiver a break." Some of you who know people with Alzheimer's and their caregivers will be able to stay with the care-ee to give the care-er a break. Don't worry about understanding which stage of Alzheimer's the care-ee is in. The care-er can easily brief you on what challenges you might face for an hour or two. For example: "You can expect him to ask you where I am about every ten minutes. Reassure him I'll be back soon. He likes to go out to the mailbox. He won't get lost, so don't worry. If he wants to walk around the block though, could you please go with him? If he wants to watch TV but can't remember the golf channel, it's 242." 

On the subject of standing appointments, I also suggest initiating social invitations to your caregiver friends. If your friend's care-ee is in a stage of Alzheimer's that requires supervision, you might have to figure out a way to find a sitter so that you and your friend can go to lunch or coffee. Trust me, your friend probably does not have the social energy to initiate toward you, but he or she would love your company. Even regular phone calls to chat would be so very welcome.

How to know when a person with Alzheimer's should no longer drive?

My family and most of my friends instinctively sense when an elderly person becomes a danger to himself and others on the road. Little dents and scrapes accumulate on Mom or Dad's car. When we ride with them, we find ourselves cringing a lot or being relied on to copilot before every turn. "Any cars coming from the right?" Maybe we hear them tell of frequent close calls. Reaction times naturally slow as we age, but additional signs might be present if your parent has dementia. I thought that instead of living with vague worries, it might be helpful to have some concrete signs to look for.

This is verbatim from the Alzheimer's Association's Alzheimer's Update Questions for the 24/7 Helpline column:

Determining when someone can no longer safely drive requires careful observation by family and caregivers. The following list provides warning signs that it's time to stop driving:
Forgetting how to locate familiar places
Failing to observe traffic signs
Making slow or poor decisions in traffic
Confusing the brake and gas pedal
Returning from a routine drive later than usual
Forgetting the destination you are driving to during the trip

For more information on this issue, visit our Dementia & Driving Resource Center at alz.org/driving.

The next obvious question is how to take away the keys. "Let the doctor tell them" is my easy-way-out answer. At the link above, you braver caregivers will find tips under "Having the conversation." Have you had success with other methods of breaking the news? 

Gift Ideas for People with Alzheimer’s and Their Caregivers

When Dad was in early stages of Alzheimer’s, I was clueless about his needs. What Christmas gift to give him? Socks, shirts, jigsaw puzzles with 100 to 500 pieces, music CDs … I wasn’t very creative. In later stages, gift ideas were simple—jigsaw puzzles with 30 to 50 pieces and books with lots of big photos of animals, especially puppies. He looked at those picture books again and again. When dogs visited the nursing home, Dad’s face lit up and he reached out to scratch behind the dog’s ears. When I wheeled Dad past a life-sized plush Lab kept by one nurses’ station, Dad always petted and scratched it. So my sister and I bought him a life-sized plush Husky dog for Christmas one year; and although he smiled and scratched behind his Husky’s ears, his brain was too far gone at that point to really enjoy the dog. I wish we’d had the Husky gift idea the previous Christmas, when Dad might even have been able to remember that for 70 years he had cheered his college sports team, the Huskies.

Are you searching for gift ideas for your loved one living with Alzheimer’s, or for his/her caregivers? Caregiver.com has an Alzheimer’s Association article, “Holiday Gift Ideas for People with Alzheimer’s and Their Caregivers.” You can read it here. We were not in a position to buy gifts for personal caregivers; my mother usually gave a gift card to the two aides who alternately cared for my dad and a huge box of chocolates to the nurses for the whole department. But I like all the gift ideas the Caregiver.com article presents. To their suggested books I would add Lori Hogan’s second book for caregivers, Strength for the Moment. My favorite gift idea from the article is self-made coupons for your services and time.

The Caregiver.com article divides gift ideas for your loved ones into categories by stage of the disease’s progression. I most resonate with their music and photo collage suggestions. My father took great pleasure in both. Regarding the scented lotion idea, thumbs up on the lotion, with an additional suggestion to offer to massage it gently into your loved one’s hands and arms. A huge thumbs down, however, on the scented aspect. Chemical fragrances have been shown to cause headaches (in 30% of people) and confusion, so skip the scents, please!

Giving gifts is an act of joy. With these holiday gift ideas and some creative gift ideas of your own, you’ll bring lots of joy this Christmas.

Connect with other caregivers

Do you know the Alzheimer's Association has a message board at
https://www.alzconnected.org/
where you can connect online with other caregivers?

Got a question? Or just need to know someone out there understands? Check it out.

Alzheimer’s Pocket Reference of Tips and Strategies

Your wife has begun pacing? Your husband has begun having toilet accidents? Your mother wants to know why she can’t drive? And keeps forgetting your answer? Your father refuses to eat? And you don’t have time right now to read a whole book on dementia-related behaviors? I have just the handy help for you: Pocket Reference of Tips and Strategies. The pocket-sized flip chart shown here comes with a Coach Broyles’ Playbook for Alzheimer’s Caregivers, which you can buy here.

I have never seen the playbook. My mother got the flip chart somewhere and gave it to me after my dad died. I’m sure the whole playbook is an excellent resource from the Alzheimer’s Association, but I can only rave about the pocket guide’s kind, clever, protective, and simple solutions to loving someone with dementia.